Monday, September 17, 2007
Its about time the world dismissed the overzealous caution it had against homosexuals. Yes, they practice an alternate lifestyle. Get over it. Alternative or not, it’s a lifestyle nevertheless and one we shouldn’t discriminate because it doesn’t parallel what’s defined as normality by the society. People fear what is different. Its an inbuilt instinct within ourselves to shy away from what we are not accustomed to. The unknown always poses questions which the answers remain shrouded in inexperience. Y
et at the end of the day homosexuality’s a form of living, perhaps different, perhaps practiced sparingly, but a person’s way of life. The choice lays in his hands and to chide his choice would be to demean ours and to leave it open for criticism. If we can sneer at homosexuals merely on the basis that they remain the minority, they have every right to shoot down our way of life. After all it is different from theirs. This is not a calling to homophobes to alter their mindsets and embrace all gays with hospice. It’s a note that at the end of the day we are all people who make different decisions. To each his own, and as fellow members of the society - as long as said decision does not threaten to wreak harm or chaos on the society - we should be able to respect each other’s decision.
At a time when homophobia is being reduced to a crass stereotype, it only seems apt to present to you a year old play written at the height of a rabid Harry/Draco slash obsession by myself and the ever witty Pavithra. Mind you, it is the brian child of our reveries, mildly blunt wit and several informal brainstorming sessions along corridors.
CAUTION: SLASH, SMUT AHEAD
Characters:Berry as Harry
Flako as Draco
Yawn as Ron
Ho Hung as Cho Chang
Voldemort as Cold-the-dot
FLAKO: Er, right, so, you um, okay?
BERRY: HO...HO...
FLAKO: Um, hey...(watches berry cry for a while) stop crying already
BERRY: Go bother someone else.
FLAKO: Right, hey, was that an insult?
BERRY: Just leave, will you? Its not as though anyone cares about me that I need you to as well. (buries his head into his arms)
FLAKO: You mean you just realised? OK, hey, look, I'm....I'm sorry. Look, (pats Berry's shoulder)you know I didn't mean that.
(BERRY SNIFFLES)FLAKO: Come on, something's messed up in Berry Gutter's perfect life?
BERRY: What do you mean by perfect? WHAT DO YOu know about my LIFE?How would you feel if your girlfriend cheated on you with your best friend and you've got this pyscho path running after you with his broken wand? Leave me alone will you? I need to feel depressed and cry for myself. That way I can throw myself a large pity party.
FLAKO: Let me get this, Ho cheated on you with Yawn. Kidding? I thought you two were the buddies of the millenium.
BERRY: You thought wrong then....again.
(sourly) FLAKO: (
scoffs) I used to feel....jealous of you two, you know.
BERRY: (turns surprised) Really?
FLAKO: yeah, I guess....I mean I used to think, ...how it would be....if I had a friend like you....or Yawn.
BERRY: Well, you have Crab and Boil.
FLAKO: Those thugs? You wouldn't really call them friends. Not like.... you and Yawn were anyway.
BERRY: Were indeed. That loser. I FIGHT COLD THE DOT EVERY WEEK WHO YOU ARE ALL SO SCARED OF,SO WHY CAN'T I GET THE GIRLFRIEND OPTIONS I WANT. I AM SO ANGRY. AND PISSED. AND ANGSTY. AFTER ALL I AM SO (dramatic pause) EMO.
FLAKO: right,....*rolls his eyes* Act your age will you? And not your shoe size.
BERRY: CALM DOWN. YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN AS I SPILL MY PASSION AMD EMOTIONS AND BARE MY ANGST RIDDEN SOUl.
FLAKO: So, I am sure there are other fish out in the sea....I mean, you are THE BARRY GUTTER.(sarcastically) (rolls his eyes)
BERRY: WILL YOU GO AWAY.MY WEEKLY DUEL WITH COLD THE DOT IS SCHEDULED FOR ELEVEN O CLOCK TONIGHT AND I'D BETTER NOT MISS IT. YOU KNOW COLD THE DOT. HE WOULD MURDER ME IN MY SLEEP. HE'S EVEN ANGSTIER THAN I AM.
FLAKO: You aren't angsty. just hurt...(shrugs) healing. Sometimes, I think you are so much stronger than me. (grins arrogantly) I mean I do have a brain bigger than your air-headed one, and I DO actually know how to duel, but....I guess sometimes I just...admire you....from far. Sometimes.....I just wish....I can be strong....(looks away) like you.
BERRY: Well, ...I thought you hated me.
FLAKO: I wouldn't say hate? Jealous, maybe. You know...(smiles softly to himself) they say there's only a thin line between hate and ....
*
Eh, I seem to have inconveniently misplaced the ending which involves an angst ridden Berry stalking of to drown himself in the lake, Flako assuming the role of the selfless hero and saving him with the aid of CPR (gasp, ohso muggle!) just in time for Cold-The-Dot to transpire and declare a duel. Flako again who seems to be very OOC in his new façade of heroism fights him to save Berry’s life and yeah, predictable ending. They don’t get together however. The same melodrama of how society’s stereotypes are holding them kicking and screaming apart from engaging in very PG13 rated makeout scenes.
It was fun writing the script, mind you. Hilariously mindblowing but momentous. While I was at digging up carcasses of the bypassed era of my HarryPotterFanFiction fixation I also discovered a set of scenes from a story which I had read ages before:
1.
Harry sat with Ginny by the lake, watching the sun set over the lake. The giant squid poked his head out of the water and said hello before sinking down to the depths to commence his sleep for the night.
“Harry?” Ginny asked, looking up at him. Her head was resting on his lap, and she was lying down.
“YES?” he asked somewhat angstily.
“Don’t be so angsty with me,” she said gently. “I was thinking about the children we’re going to have in the future.”
“WELL,” said Harry, “I THINK WE SHOULD GIVE THEM ORIGINAL NAMES. YOU KNOW, SOMETHING SPECIAL. AND OF COURSE, WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A GIRL AND A BOY.”
“Yes,” Ginny agreed. “We should name them… Lily and James.”
“WOW, THAT IS SO ORIGINAL!” Harry said happily. “I THINK THAT’S PERFECT. WHEREVER DID YOU THINK OF THAT?”
“It just came to me,” said Ginny with a nonchalant shrug. “I know I’m smart. I’m also beautiful, popular and witty. Boy, are you lucky I forgot my twenty other boyfriends to be with you.”
Harry and Ginny snogged in the moonlight as the giant squid slept down at the bottom of the lake.
2.
“Attention!” cried Dumbledore at breakfast in the Great Hall. “Everyone, I’d like to have your attention.”
The Great Hall quieted, the murmur of sleepy breakfast talking fading to a flat silence.
“As I seem to be full of announcements these past few weeks, I would like to make another one. First, Harry Potter has successfully defeated Voldemort in their two-hundred and twenty-fifth duel last night. Let’s all congratulate him!”
Clapping echoed through the Great Hall.
“Five hundred and fifty thousand points to Gryffindor,” said Dumbledore as a large shower of rubies fell into the bottom half of the Gryffindor points hourglass. Groans emerged from the Slytherin table. “My second announcement is that we will be having an inter-house dueling competition right now in honour of Harry’s milestone!”
Cheering erupted through the Great Hall. The tables were immediately cleared away, and the students stood together, watching the runway-like dueling stage with anticipation.
“First up is Potter and Malfoy!” cried Dumbledore.
“No!” screamed Malfoy. “I won’t! I cannot duel anymore. I have a newfound personality and am suddenly sweet and caring. For this reason I will not retaliate or curse Harry.”
“That sounds somewhat familiar,” said Ron thoughtfully.
“Well, we have to have a Gryffindor and a Slytherin duel because that’s the way it’s always done in canon,” reminded Dumbledore. “What should we do?”
3.
“GIN?”
Harry and Ginny were sitting together in the Gryffindor common room, the hot fire crackling in front of them.
“Yes, Harry?” she asked sweetly, not bothering to tell Harry that no one calls her Gin in canon.
“WELL, GIN, WE CAN’T SEE EACH OTHER ANYMORE. SEE, ALTHOUGH I HAVE DEFEATED VOLDEMORT IN VARIOUS DUELS TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE TIMES, I MUST DESTROY HIM ONCE AND FOR ALL.”
“Harry, are you sure?” she asked.
“YES, I AM. HEY, WHY AREN’T YOU ANGRY?” Harry said angstily. “I AM VERY ANGRY AND THEREFORE EVERYONE AROUND ME SHOULD BE TOO. GOODNESS, THE WHOLE WORLD IS JUST FALLING APART AND I HAVE TO SAVE IT. FIRST I HAVE TO KILL VOLDEMORT, AND THEN I HAVE TO SAVE THE WORLD TOO?”
“No, Harry, it’s okay,” Ginny said, trying to comfort the angry Harry.
“NO, IT’S NOT OKAY!” yelled Harry. “LEAVE ME ALONE SO I CAN GO OBLITERATE DUMBLEDORE’S BELONGINGS AND THROW MYSELF A LARGE PITY PARTY.”
“Okay, fine,” said Ginny angrily. “I have ten other guys on reserve, so I’ll just go date one of them. None of them will be as good as you, though. Bye!”
4.
“RON!”
Ron jolted awake, knocking his head on a light fixture above him.
“What?” he asked groggily, rubbing his head.
“RON, YOU WERE SLEEPING. HOW COULD YOU SLEEP AT A TIME LIKE THIS?” Harry demanded angstily.
“A time like what?” asked Ron slowly, trying to register what day it was.
“TODAY IS MY LAST EVER DUEL WITH VOLDEMORT!” cried Harry. “HE SCHEDULED IT FOR TEN O’CLOCK AT NIGHT EVEN THOUGH I SPECIFICALLY ASKED HIS SECRETARY FOR THE ELEVEN A.M. SLOT! OH, I AM SO ANGRY!”
Harry kicked a large standing lamp and fumed as it crashed into an unsuspecting first-year.
“I’m sure you’ll win,” said Ron with a nonchalant shrug.
“JUST BECAUSE I’VE WON THE LAST TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE TIMES, IT DOESN’T MEAN I’LL WIN THIS ONE!” yelled Harry, his ears smoking. “I AM VERY STRESSED AND ANGSTY RIGHT NOW, SO DON’T PUSH MY BUTTONS!”
“Fine,” said Ron, turning away. “I’m too stupid to help you anyway.”
Story; Cliched Nation from mugglenetfanfiction.com.
2:44 AM
